Thursday, 27 February 2014

Some fabulous writing about the whirlpool rooms 9, 16 & 17 made in the swimming pool

I heard people screaming
I saw the pool swirling
I felt my pants falling down
I heard water splashing
I saw kids
I wondered what would happen if the pool got boiling hot
by Kaedyn Beazley


I heard people yelling loudly
I saw waves coming towards me
I felt shivery cold like an ice cream
I heard the teachers whistle
I saw people lapping while the whirlpool was going
I felt people kicking me with their feet
I wondered........ what if all the water came out?
by Anika Jarram


I heard laughter, splish, splash
I saw feet kicking under the water
I felt frozen like an ice block
I heard birds tweeting
I saw the whirlpool swirling around
I felt so excited....I started to laugh
I wondered if the whirlpool would ever stop?
by Riana Foster

I heard people kicking their legs in the whirlpool
I saw a kid hopping in front of me
I felt water splashing on my face
I heard kids screaming loudly in my ears
I saw the bottom of the pool coming towards me
I felt out of control and couldn't stop
I wondered if heaps of water was in the pool and would it flood the school?
by Charlotte Bell

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8 comments:

  1. Mrs England27 February 2014 at 21:16

    I love your very descriptive stories Room 9. Swirling, splashing, tweeting,shivery- what fabulous words to use.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Room 133 March 2014 at 14:44

      Thank you for giving us wonderful comments Mrs England

      Delete
  2. Mrs R27 February 2014 at 21:22

    Awesome writing Kaedyn, Anika, Riana and Charlotte. The detail in your stories made me get a picture in my head of what it was like being in the whirlpool. Now I want to have a turn at making a whirlpool myself because you have made it sound so much fun.

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    Replies
    1. Room 133 March 2014 at 14:45

      Thanks Mrs Ramsay, you should come with us some time :)

      Delete
    2. Anika Jerram4 March 2014 at 19:02

      Thank you Mrs Ramsey for your lovely comment.

      Delete
  3. Mrs H1 March 2014 at 15:42

    Wow Room 9, after reading your writing it makes me feel like I was there in the whirl pool. When you add all that detail it makes the reader want to keep reading and reading your writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Room 133 March 2014 at 14:46

      Thanks Mrs H. you can read more of our writing any time

      Delete
  4. joseph12 March 2014 at 17:53

    wow that writing was fabulous

    ReplyDelete

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